RolX miniblogs

Jebal Roland, tev exsāmeni nav jākārto ko

Roses is red,
Kold Latvians is blue,
Pain, agony, suffering, malnourish,
No potato in Latvia,
Is sad.. is true.

I remember coming out as Estonian, my father was a pretty hardcore Soviet and we were a strictly a Communist house.

But in 1989, as I was walking down the street I saw a massive chain of people linked arm in arm. Estonian nationalists. It was a strange clashing of nature vs nurture because I was raised to belive this was disgusting and Immoral but my nature couldn't help but be attracted to it. There was one boy in particular whom caught my eye...

He was a bit shorter than me... beautiful blue eyes and starling black hair. Handsome as could be, we met eyes and sure enough that night I was at his house having him roughly teach me about the Estonian liberation movement. Our relationship continued for a couple years until 1991 when Estonia declared independence from the Soviets. My father obviously was beside himself with grief and he looked at me that day and said with tears in his eyes;
"Things are changing son, I'm just glad I have you to keep me sane..."

He went on to tell me how I was his only reason to live after mom died and I couldn't hide it from him anymore. Maybe he knew, maybe he was reaching out to me! I told him everything, about the Estonian boy whom had become my best friend and mentor, about my participation in the Singing Revolution... everything.

My father stared at me silently for a long time before he went into the garage and grabbed an old pair of jumper cables and proceeded to beat me within an inch of my life with them.

Haven't talked to my father since but I hope one day he can accept me for who I am.