4chan
>be me, 23 year old normal kid
>2010
>christmas
>worked 7 months at warehouse, drive around on forklift all day
>good friends with everyone, even boss
>have christmas party at my place
>everyone from work invited
>I usually drink too much and things get out of control, bad habit
>fuck it, drink a lot anyway
>wake up next day with sore dick and messy apartment
>several texts on my phone, one from boss says I'm fired
>wonder what the hell happened
>call best friend at work
>as soon as he picks up and notices it's me who is calling he starts laughing like a maniac
>"what happened last night?"
>get told that I locked my boss who is about 45 in the bathroom with a girl friend of mine who is 22
>"you two have sex now"
>boss: "but I'm married?!"
>"YOU TWO HAVE SEX NOW!"
>later on I give a friend of mine a jar full of my piss as a present
>then I put a glowing stick, some sort of christmas decoration into my urethra
>go out on balcony
>wave my glowing dick to my neighbours from somalia while shouting "E.T. COCK!"
>go inside
>pass out in bedroo