• I was only nine years old.
• I loved Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas so much, I had it for the original PS2.
• I pray to Rockstar every night before bed, thanking them for the games I have been given.
• ''Rockstar is love'' I say, ''Rockstar is life.''
• My dad hears me and calls me a console peasant.
• I knew he was just jealous.
• I called him a PC master faget.
• He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep.
• I'm crying now and my face hurts.
• I lay in bed and it's really cold.
• A warmth is moving towards me.
• I feel something touch me.
• It's Gaben.
• I am so happy.
• He whispers in my ear, ''-70% Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.''
• He grabs my wallet with his powerful bribing hands and puts me on my hands and knees.
• I'm ready.
• I agreed with the Steam terms and conditions.
• He pilfered my wallet hole.
• It hurt so much, but I do it for -70% Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.
• I can feel my wallet emptying as my eyes start to water.
• I want to please Gaben.
• He roars a mighty roar as he fills my inventory with his coupons.
• My dad walks in.
• Gaben looks him straight in the eyes and says, ''It was worth the weight.''
• Gaben rolls through my window.
• Gaben is love, Gaben is life.